Being a Good Parent

My constant struggle as a stay at home mom is .... Am I doing enough? As Americans we believe that unless we have made a name for ourselves we are nothing. So let me ask you if any of us were to die tonight how would we be remembered and does it really matter?
I wake up every morning and have close to the same routine every day.... not much changes. The only thing that I can change is how I respond to my children. Will I be mean today and make the day bad for everyone (myself included) or will I show patients, understanding and in doing so teach my children to respond the same way. I want to raise my children to be Godly leaders and so I need to show them what that looks like.... (Now do I always) No way... Many times I lose my temper, get frustrated and sometimes even freak out. The question is then how to I handle it after the fact? Do I go and apologize or do I blow it of? I have made the choice to discipline out or love not anger. What does that look like you may ask? Before to disciple stop and check your attitude and actions first.... make sure you are responding the way that God would want you to and then administer the disciple. How will your children remember you?
Will I be the parent that my children will talk good about when they are grown or will I be the parent that they will say I hope I am nothing like my parents when I grow up?

Do You Ever Wonder?

For some reason I continue to have dreams about a certain family that I grew up with when I was a child. I was never sure why I had these dreams but then today it hit me. This was a family that I respected so much. Being from a broken home..... all I longed for was parents that cared about each other and were ok with showing that in public. Not in a nasty way but a good way. Like teasing each other, holding hands or him putting his arm around her. I so wanted to be a part of a family like that.
The other thing that I realized that in my dreams it seems as though that there is always some kind of conflict within the family. One time one of the girls had a baby out of wedlock other times it is just ciaos. This makes me wonder if my mind just can't wrap itself around the idea that there are truly happy families out there.
I pray that God will give us a home that my children will be proud of. A family that loves each other without bounds. That I will be a good help mate to my husband, friend and lover. Also that I will be the kind of mom that my children can count on and always come to in hard times.

Where did time go?

So it has been about a year and a half since I last posted. So much has happened since than. I now have 4 children who keep me very busy. W is in the second grade now, H is in kindergarten and L begged to start so he does pre-k work on most days. Most days I really enjoy homeschooling my children and then there are those days that I think..... I wonder what I would do with all my free time if all my children were in school. N turned a year old almost 2 weeks ago now. What a fun age it is when they are just learning everything for the first time.
As a mom you wonder how am doing when it comes to raising my children? Will they turn out as smart as they seem to be now or will they just balance out. I had a moment the other day that I had to step back and wonder if I made the right choice. My children know that I have the final say in a yes or no moment but sometimes I will allow them to plead their case. Well this is how one such instant went...... L says, "Mom can I have some milk." I say,"No you know that milk is for meal times." We proceeded to go back and forth for a couple of seconds then L says, "Put mommy I didn't get any for supper." I think about it and say, "OK but only a small amount." L gets a big grin on his face and say," I won that one." My jaw about dropped to the floor. So there you have it I have been out witted by my almost 4 year old.